It is that time of year again, and I am working daily at counting my blessings and feeling gratitude not only for those whom I love but also my fellow beings in general. The older I get the more I realize we are not separate as beings -- we are part of the same family, and as such, should consciously care about, attend to, one another. I try to muster this energy in me as I walk the streets, go in and out of the grocery store, narrowly avoid a collision at a city intersection, stand in line at the post office, sit alone in a dark movie theater .... We are all carrying suffering, after all, and it is just recently that I am able to articulate that and NOT be sad or depressed about it. It is a grey rainy day in San Francisco, and I am considering driving to the beach where I have a most remarkable refuge facing the Pacific Ocean. I am also entertaining the idea of hunkering down at home, listening to some beautiful choral music on the stereo, wrapping a present or two, inhaling the comforting perfume of my Christmas tree, and just plain resting in the moment, the moment before the whirlwind of next week arrives at my doorstep... The amazing thing about living alone is this ongoing spontaneity of living: deciding and un-deciding in any given moment of changing circumstance, because you don't really have anyone to make you accountable! It's often fun to be that way, and sometimes, I get mired in directionless-ness, and spend my time puttering about my little house. But, then, what is wrong with puttering? Shall that be the question for this Saturday?
I guess the correct Buddhist answer (if there is such a thing) is: as long as you putter mindfully, moment by moment, it is just fine. Awareness is all!
Books I am reading: Dead Lagoon, Watermark (both unfolding in Venice, where I shall soon be visiting), Confession of a Buddhist Atheist (Stephen Batchelor).
People I am thinking about: my dear friend Winnie, in Boston with her youngest daughter, my therapist Anita, who will soon be having major hip surgery, my piano teacher Sean, whose lovely spaciousness has opened a beautiful new chapter in my piano playing, my friends Sharon & Craig at the beach whom I miss a lot, and my pal Lorraine in Taos, NM, who always tells me about great books, has a great blog, and got me hooked on knitting!
To the above, and to all, very loving wishes for peace, happiness, and wellbeing...
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