Creativity and the heart

Have been thinking a lot about the power of the creative path.    Why is it that some of us cannot leave it behind?  What keeps all those amazing juices flowing inside?  I think it may have something to do with living and breathing, surviving even... We go beneath the territory of the brain and all its brilliance and artifice, and we sink into some deep - even physical -  truth about ourselves, a truth we can't necessarily articulate. When we are in the presence of good art, whether it is a Bach fugue, a Matisse painting, even a line of Shakespeare, a ballad sung by our incomparable Wesla Whitfield, we hear the profound voice of the heart, and we are slowed down in the witnessing of it, as it moves over us gently.  We are held in a moment in time.  In the presence of such truth, we cease to make plans, review our past, worry about our health or future; we simply remain present with the gift.

I keep trying to make things with my hands:  knitted pieces, beautiful food, colorful wrapped gifts, beaded necklaces, photographs ..... because in the doing I am entirely present, in touch with my heart.  I was talking recently with a friend about my work in hospice and the profound meaning it carries, and he said that when working with the dying you cannot be anything but real -- that "real" which emanates from your heart.  The roles and agendas you have been clinging to are no longer relevant.  And so, too, in creating art,  you find the opportunity to stay in touch with that authentic core of who you are, because anything less will not yield the kind of beauty (truth) you want to offer the world.

Art and death ... Beads and knitting, cooking and making music and holding a sick person's hand .... all ask us to return to what is true in us.  I can't think of a better way to live.

Films, Beads, and our Human Story

On the weekend I saw a haunting film called "Cave of Forgotten Dreams," which gently stirred up my feelings of love for what has come before, and along with that such an appreciation of the kind of life I've had where I can dip into ancient-ness through travel, and through the creation of necklaces with old, old beads. After almost a month of unimaginable tranquility (following the retreat in March), I found myself returning to activities in the world both surprised and comforted me.  Found myself signing up to go to films at the SF Film Festival, seeing at least 5 films in one week, and then spending a weekend at the beach "peddling" my necklaces, pieces I crafted many years ago when I called myself a jewelry artist.  The films - mostly foreign -- took me to worlds far away so troubled and filled with death and darkness, and I sat with that understanding:  suffering in this world is huge and constant, whether it be the Middle East, South America, or India and Pakistan ... or our own safer looking world here in America.  Images from these works of art, and they were genuine works of art, are still living in my mind.  I feel grateful for the courage of the filmmakers who brought them into being, so we could see what is real.  The re-discovery of my own body of work -- beaded necklaces - also takes me to a distant place -- that time years ago when I searched with all my heart for objects of beauty, which were old and had deep histories, that I could use to combine into new configurations of beauty to share with the world.   Embarking on the creative path allowed me to tap into a deep part of myself that had nothing to do with the overactive intellect, and also exposed the courage to take a step "out" and offer my creations to the public.  Re-acquainting myself with my work has inspired me, given me a bit of a nudge to keep on going with those magical old beads, those beads which in their thousands of years of history have moved through so many human hands and carried countless human emotions and aspirations ...

It takes courage to continue to express yourself when you're not sure who cares, who is paying attention, and where your lovingly crafted work will end up.  But the point of expression and creativity is NOT about what is outside, or in the future; it is about now, this moment and your connection to your materials in this moment.  And the joy to be had with the handling of such beautiful objects as ancient dark glass from the rubble of Afghanistan, or 2000 year old creamy colored shell from the Indus Valley, or mysteriously striped agates from Central Asia, otherwise known as Iraq -- this joy deepens and enriches life. 

The caves in France that were the subject of the film, discovered less than twenty years ago, contain paintings done some 33,000 years ago of exquisite horses, buffalo, rhino --- man's companions in that unfathomable ancient world.  Herzog's film in 3D allows us to move through the darkened cave with the scientists and explorers, and feel as though we could reach out and touch those damp cave walls.  You find yourself holding your breath as you continue to witness the miraculously preserved art, art done lovingly in the service of the human spirit.  There is something mind-bending about being a witness to such ancient work, as though we are being reminded of a brotherhood extending far beyond our imagining....  We are NOT alone, here in 2011.  We may not be able to physically visit these caves (the caves of Chavet, Lascaux, and Alta Mira are all closed off to public viewing to protect the extraordinary neolithic art inside) to see for ourselves, but we can partake of one artist's realization that brings this remote universe forward. 

We are NOT alone -- I like saying that!  My ancient beads show me that I'm not alone as well, and that I can hold in the palm of my hand stones and artifacts that have journeyed for thousands of years,  acquiring the patina of human connection;  they are transmitters, in a way, of human experience.  I'm going to continue have a relationship with this beautiful stuff, and see where it takes me -- one bead at a time...